Quick Middle East Peace Follow Up

It occurred to me this morning, while heavily sedated in the dentist's chair, that if the key to quelling the violence in the Middle East is keeping people off the street, another potential solution exists or one that in fact may be synergistic with the air conditioner theory. Mind you, my first thought was perhaps something noble like setting up a Baghdad Boys and Girls Club or a Gaza 4H club - however we need look no further than our own streets to conclude that not only do these well intentioned programs fail to succeed; they may in fact, exacerbate the problem by concentrating large numbers of future felons in to one area and even provide potential, albeit rudimentary, weaponry such as bats, basketballs, t-shirts, etc that facilitate future felonious activities. Clearly, this is not acceptable.

Now...the dentist is yanking on my tooth, but my gums are holding on like a fat kid to the last cookie in the jar...and my thought process shifts from organized youth groups as the answer to something else...something that, again, will keep people indoors...it then occurred to me that the answer might be some sort of gaming platform...Xboxes for instance can people locked indoors for 20 hours straight...but there are too many violent games like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which could very well prove to be excellent training for current and future Mujahideen. In fact, these games so accurately simulate war, particularly from a strategic standpoint that we might again be doing more harm than good. So no Xboxes....how about a Wii? harmless right? Wrong...the swinging motion of the Wii for baseball or tennis can improve muscle reaction and muscle memory for movements essential for accurate grenade or fire bomb tossing. So Wii is out...then it occurred to me that most of the younger generation in the Middle East has probably missed out on the incredible evolution of gaming over the past twenty years...Pong, or Donkey Kong or Frogger would probably blow their minds...so let's send them some Coleco Visions, Ataris....maybe some Commodore 64s...there is no tractor beam stronger than a game of Mario Brothers played in the comfort of a well cooled room.

I think we have our answer now...though one more thing must be addressed...it would be naive to assume the infrastructures, namely power generation capacity, of these countries would be capable of sustaining such a massive drain of electricity...surely it would take large amounts of money and time to build out the necessary power plants, power lines, etc to support all this. This is a huge issue...however....I have the solution people...and it's compact (a mere 127 cm in height) yet has massive, yet presently untapped, power generation potential...you guessed it...midgets. Midgets are the final piece to the puzzle...A/C + Atari + Midgets = Middle East Peace....(for those of you that missed yesterday's entry (http://midgetmanifesto.50megs.com/)

...MJB